Saturday, October 29, 2011

Does this usually happen?/VentPost

I love to write and love to talk even more... and you would think at one of the most emotionally and mentally... trying, challenging, hurting... times in my life, I'd have plenty to write about, but for some reason, I'm having writers block like a mofo. I have a going list of ideas, but everytime I begin to write I get three sentances in and .....................................................................

THIS HAPPENS...I can't think of anything else to write (I'm typing especially hard right now) I'm trying, but I got nothin'

I could write about the night I had in Harrisburg that didn't start until I got a plate of greens, cornbread, turkey, rice and meatballs (randomest combo ever...kept wanting sweet potatoes and baked mac to add to the mix)

Or I could write about the mess my house is in and how I have no motivation to clean, organize or throw out. Procrastination is the sole culprit here

But then there is my insane (yes, because I've done the same thing over and over and expecting the same result) relationwhreck with Josiah's dad... that stretches me at every turn..I, for some reason, keep expecting some magical change to take place and responsibility, respect and consideration to suddenly take permanent residence in the space currently occupied by their exact opposites

And let's not forget the most important subject of all, my struggling realizations with my spirituality and how I'm trying (and this is hard to type, but it's honest) to figure out how to put all my trust, faith and dependency in God, whom I feel so far from right now

On top of all that is all the things that I don't even realize I'm keeping in, holding on to and blocking from my memory...

On the upside, my relationship with Josiah has been going really well, except he's learning how to lie to get what he wants, i/o just to not get in trouble..he conned me into staying with his cousins for a movie night by telling me his dad was going to pick him up, which I couldn't confirm because his dad didn't pick up the phone, so being as though the story was so believeable, he stayed. He never talked to his dad....OH! and work is going pretty alright too...first 90 down...great feedback and some really bright yellow carnies on my desk after the meeting!


1 comment:

  1. Sharee, number 1, your coloring needs tweeked a lil.. I had a hard time finding the comment box. ..But I hear you on the Writer's block, it happens to the best of writers so don't feel bad. What you should do when this happens is, write down any words that come to mind on a sheet of paper. Then go back over those words individually and visualize what they mean to you. This will help spark your writing. As for the problems going on in your life, and cloudy relationship you're facing with the Lord. Just continue to keep a clean heart no matter what, and everything will fall into place as it should. I been in the darkest of darkest areas of life before, so I know how you're feeling. Stay strong!